Monday, July 14, 2014

Snarks ~ Getting Laid

I apologize in advance to all my fellow perverts who thought this post would be about sex. It is not. It is a Grammar Nazi Rant because I absolutely must. I roll my eyes, so fucking hard, every time I hear this travesty of language that I fear those orbs will pop out of their sockets. Thus, I must raise the lid off my steaming pot. (That is not a euphemism for sex.) (OK, it could be, but it's not this time. Focus, people!)

The word "lay," as defined by Wiktionary and every sane and rational individual ever, means:
 "To place down in a position of rest, or in a horizontal position."
The site further provides the following example of the proper usage of this transitive verb:
"...to lay a body in the grave..."
Which is exactly what I want to do when I hear folks say shit like, "I'm going to lay down." Is that so? Oh, you mean you're going to lie down? Well, then, fucking say that. Because Wiktionary confirms that the word "lie" means:
"To rest in a horizontal position on a surface."
My guess is some people remember that kiddie prayer from way-back-when which starts,
"Now I lay me down to sleep..."
But check it: in that sentence, I lay me down. I place myself down in a position of rest, or in a horizontal position. Thus, that usage works. The other crap doesn't.

Even the expression "getting laid" works, if you're using it to describe the act of some other lucky person placing you in a horizontal position for purposes of sexual intercourse. Presumably, if one readily, frequently, and indiscriminately permits oneself to be placed in a horizontal position for purposes of sexual intercourse, one might be considered an "easy lay" (but not by me, 'cause I don't judge). (Much.) (Nah, J/K. To each, her/his own.) (Except when it comes to grammar, in which case you'd better toe the goddamn line.)

So no, you weren't laying down on the couch, you were lying down. But you did lay your fork down on the table when you were done eating that lasagne. (You know, assuming you were using a fork.) (And if you weren't—ick.)

Eve8
For a more comprehensive, and far less rabid, take on the matter, click here. Or just take my word for it. Whatever you do, do not get these wrong if you've a pedant like me in your vicinity, as the poor unfortunate may lose control and...I shudder to think what might happen.

::shudders::


25 comments:

  1. Thank you! This is just one of those things that drive me absolutely nuts. I think one might say, do this around me and you might find yourself lying in an open grave as I put a finer point on the lesson.

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    1. Yet another reason we're so simpatico. :-)

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  2. Breathe! Breathe! Go to your happy place Mina! lol I probably say lay down too. Never really gave it much thought. Although sometimes I say to the dogs, 'go have a lie down', which is generally a British expression. But i know when I've been sick I have said, 'I'm gonna lay down'.

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    1. 1. ROTFL, JoJo! :-D

      2. Having a lie-down's fine, but you'll never say that other thing again!!! ;-)

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  3. LOL I have so much trouble with these two, as with left and right, push and pull... Stupid dyslexic brain. Anyway, to avoid risking my life over it, I wrote the correct usage for each verb and stuck it to the wall above the computer screen. Now I know I'm save. =) I also never wear a bracelet on my right hand. About push/pull... unfortunately, much slamming against doors hasn't help me remember.

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    1. I can sympathize on the push/pull thing; the Portuguese word for "pull" sounds like the English word "push," which led to a lot of ridiculous misunderstandings between my parents and my sis/me.

      But tell me more about not wearing bracelets on your right hand, is that some kinda superstition? I ask because my natural inclination is to wear bracelets on my left wrist, perhaps because that's my non-dominant hand and so stuff on it would get in my way less often. (I guess?)

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    2. Puxa vida! I always thought that was a fun expression.

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  4. Living in Australia, and having lived for a while in Britain, the lie/lay thing seems to be particular to the US. Of course, Britain and Australia have their own local language abominations. ;)

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    Replies
    1. Share one with me?!? C'mon, venting's GREAT for the soul! ;-)

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  5. Mina, you crack me up! Great definitions!

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  6. I accept your apology about this not being about sex. ;))

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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  7. Well quite honestly I'd like to lay you down in a bed of roses for that rant but instead I'm going for a lie down in my big bed where I can dream of getting laid by Jenson Ackles and raising the lid from my steaming pot. :)

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    1. Chance'd be a fine thing, eh, Jules? :-)

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    2. One must always dream, I say....;P

      On a side note: I now have follow buttons on my new site - hoorah - and you can now add me to your reader. My RSS feed - http://www.julessmith.co.uk/feed
      Thanks :)

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  8. You've now got Bon Jovi's 'Bed of Roses' stuck in my head - I hope you're pleased with yourself. :D

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    1. I wash my hands of your ear-worm. Besides, I prefer "Bad Medicine." :-D

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  9. I saw getting laid in your post and Jenson Ackles in another comment, and I lost everything else I wanted to say.

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  10. I do tent to mix these up, but only initially in my head. Because I know I have trouble, I'm sure to be careful with these words. Something we should all do. Be careful with your words.

    Hi again, Mina. :)

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    1. Oh, hey, Dude! I was just thinking about you the other day; saw your name as I reviewed an older post or something like that. How old's your kid now, driving age probs, right??? :-)

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  11. I so enjoyed this rant. :)

    I'll leave you with two things: a joke and a link.
    First, the joke...

    What do you call a fast editor?
    A cunning linguist.

    *grin*

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8Gv0H-vPoDc

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C'mon, post a comment. All the cool kids do.

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