Thursday, August 13, 2020

The Necronomnomnom by Mike Slater ~ A Belated* First Look

Mike Slater's The Necronomnomnom: Recipes and Rites from the Lore of H. P. Lovecraft is a cookbook written in the charmingly floral but forbidding early 20th C. style of H.P. Lovecraft. Its title, a play on the fictional "Necronomicon" (of which Lovecraft wrote in his cosmic horror) sends me into fits of Wilma Flintstone-esque giggles and I find myself repeating it often bc FUN, and fun's been in short supply for quite some time. Anyway, it's not merely written in Lovecraft's voice, but the recipes are named after creatures and characters from his many mythoi (including Cthulhu, of course), and are tales themselves. Sorta. Lemme 'splain...

The Necronomnomnom is in two parts: the main recipe section, à la Lovecraft, then the appendix, in which we see "the rites revealed." The recipes provide ingredient lists advising, "What Must Be Offered" or "Rise and Obtain," while cooking instructions commence with, "When the Stars are Right," or "To Travel the Void." The appendix section "reveals the rites" by giving us each recipe in more straightforward English (which is not as entertaining as reading that the garlic should be "minced savagely" and the sirloin "ruthlessly cubed"). There's also a handy index, which helps you locate both versions of a particular recipe with relative ease.

We're given fifty recipes in total, for Drinks (such as Herbert West's Deanimator), Appetizers (Atlach-Nachos), Soups and Salads (Pallid Bisque), Main Dishes (Formless Spawnghetti), Sides (Cthus-Koos), Breakfast (The Oats of Dagon), Children's Meals (Cultists in Robes) (not made from actual children) (yes, I checked), and Desserts (The Ring That Should Not Be). Because I love breakfast foods (and bc I'm about as mature as a very young and obnoxious ten-year-old), I'm itching to make the Great Old Buns (aka Very Cross Buns). (BC buns, hun.)

While there are no pictures, there are gorgeous illustrations. Not that you need pics, when the language used is so vivid:

SHOGGHOULASH. Serves 4, under strict hypnotic control

Freeze the creatures and keep them frozen! The bears cannot be trusted. ~ AT THE FOUNTAINS OF MADNESS (Drink)

Bring all to a boil; mutter the incantation, as instructed below, and stir until thickened. ~ NEW ENGLAND DAMNED CHOWDER (Yes, there is an incantation.) (No, you couldn't pay me enough to recite it.)

At first, I thought the old man simply eccentric, and perhaps a bit senile. ~ THE MUESLI OF ERICH ZANN

The pale crystal and ebon flakes may now be scattered atop. ~ LOVECRAFT MACARONI AND CHEESE (Serves 6 to 8 Dark Young, Children's Menu)

...he went at the egg like it done him wrong, beating at it as it went in. ~ JOE SLATER'S IN-BREAD PUDDING

And you don't have to be familiar with Lovecraft's work to enjoy The Necronomnomnom, you just have to have some culinary curiosity and a good sense of humor, coupled with a deep appreciation for the absurd (which, if you're reading my blog, you most assuredly must possess). Plus, if you're craving autumn and Halloween like I am, trying out these recipes can really lift your spirits! (Heh heh. See what I did there? Lift your spirits? Halloween? Yeah...you see what I did there.) 

The Necronomnomnom is available on Amazon (it's $22.46 right now but I bought it during a big price drop within the past week or so, for just $9.98!) and Barnes & Noble, and probably elsewhere but I'm too lazy** to go lookin'.


In a related story, check out this guy's video review of The Necronomnomnom
(and enjoy with me the number of times he says the book's title ~ tee hee)


*"Belated" bc this book came out last fall but I only just got it into my hot little hands
**You knew this about me already, undoubtedly