Monday, February 18, 2013

Why Do Chicks Wear Lipstick? (WAL?)

Visual by www.PDImages.com.
Thus begins my new feature, What About Luuurve? (aka WAL?), which focuses on a subject which has fascinated me since I was but a mere Gothling: the science and biology of love. (And/or sex, I'm not that fussy.)

So, like, did y'all know that lipstick, or lip coloring, has been around for, like, forever? Well, at least since ancient Mesopotamian babes, chillin' in the Fertile Crescent (heh heh), painted their lips with henna, clay, and rust. (Ick.) Don't even ask how Cleopatra did it, 'cause that's grosser still, and my WAL? posts are s'posed to be all about the sexaaay...

Right, so: painted lips waxed and waned in popularity throughout history. Hot, then not, then a tool of Satan, then super groovy all over again. Over thousands of years, gals have been drawn to using lip color, but why?

Today's woman might say she feels confident/powerful/beautiful when she wears it and naked/vulnerable/ugly when she doesn't. OK, I'll buy that for a dollar. But what got chicks to start feeling confident/powerful/beautiful by painting their lips all them years ago?

Well...

DISCLAIMER: This next bit's where my adult content warning really comes into play.

Guess what else is happy to see ya?
Wouldja believe it's 'cause ruddy facial lips resemble a woman's labia when she's aroused, and women re-create this effect on their faces, so as to signal that they're ready for some nookie? This theory, proposed by science, is the foundation from which the other theories stem. To wit: facial lips also become engorged and redder due to the blood rushing to them when a gal's hot to trot, which is a major turn-on. As well, full, flushed lips are indicative of youth and fertility, another siren's call to sex.

You may cry foul, citing that lotsa chicks wear colors other than those in the red family, such as more neutral browns and pinks, and whatnot, or that women of color won't be flushing red. Fair enough. But you do realize that other things on a gal, which may be of a pinkish/brownish hue, also engorge with blood when she's raring to rock, right? Like, her nipples, for instance? Fact. And women of color may not go pinky-red, but the blood rushing to their naughty bits will further color those bits. Also fact. The bottom line is that the blood be rushin', indicating a chick's ready for action, which can sometimes be all the foreplay needed by a potential sex-partner.

So, you know, the next time you go shopping for lipstick, just remember what you're advertizing when you stroke that lush new shade across your lips, ladies. (Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more...)

References/Sources

Edited to add additional disclaimer, above. I'd meant to do it before this post published, but forgot. My bad.

28 comments:

  1. Hehehe, yes I had heard this before :) Found it quite interesting! I think I heard about it in relation to the geisha women actually.

    This series of posts should be fun! :D

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    1. In relation to geishas, it makes total sense, really.

      I'm sure the WAL? posts won't all be this dirty...probably. ;-)

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  2. Well this is the first time I've heard that theory. I love wearing lipstick. I don't feel dressed until I've applied it, especially the glittered variety. Now I'm going to think about this every time! Aaaagh!

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    1. I love wearing lipstick and think about this every time I put it on, only it makes me snicker. :-D

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  3. This has been very enlightening. I love to learn new things, hahaha. Thanks Mina!

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    1. Happy to be of service, Senor Diaz. :-)

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  4. Huh. Go figure. Yet it makes sense. I have never used lipstick in my life. I can't stand how it makes my lips feel; my mom would try to force it on me for weddings and/or graduations when I was all dressed up. I would let her put it on me then wipe it off immediately. lol. I usually eschewed anything that made me appear feminine or girly. I do use a light coat of chapstick before bed but that's it.

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    1. Diff'rent strokes for diff'rent folks, eh? :-)

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  5. Now I understand your warning message. I am allergic to eye makeup - even the non-allergenic varieties. It's odd to wear lipstick and nothing else - and I don't like the idea that women are supposed to look different than they really look to be/feel attractive.

    Maybe I'll test out your theory and see if it makes any kind of difference to the husband. Probably should shave my legs just in case. :)

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    1. ^ROTFL! ::sighs:: I wish *I* had a reason to shave my legs...

      ;-)

      And yeah; I didn't think I was really living up to the adult content disclaimer, so I figured I'd give it a shot.

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  6. Tehe I so blushed when I read this post!
    For Valentine's day, my hubby gave me my favorite Lancome face moisturizer and a cute pink bag filled with extra goodies ... I just took a peek, and there's two tubes of lipstick inside! ;)

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    1. ^BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!! LOVE IT! (Lucky gal!) :-D

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  7. Bloody hell - really. Clearly I am just an ignorant bloke, one step removed from an ape :)

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    1. You'll learn...oh, yes - you'll learn. ;-)

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  8. I certainly never knew that. I be that's why lip gloss was/is so popular. I've always liked red lipstick, but I know guys who like softer, barely-there lipstick. Fun post and I'm glad you finally wrote something to deserve your content warning!! lol

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  9. Very fun post! I love me some lipstick!!!

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    1. Me, too! I don't feel right without it. :-)

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  10. I did already know this. I read on to see how you'd present it. Loved it! Personally, I don't go out of the house without a little lippy on for two reasons: Moisturize those dry lips! And I look very pale and wan without a little color there. My days of bright red are over, but at my age, color fades and things dry up. Loved this post and look forward to more interesting things along these lines.

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    1. They should post at least once a month (the WAL? stuff), though they won't all be as...er...saucy as this one. ;-)

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  11. Lol, never thought about this. I hardly ever put lipstick, but next time I do, your post might come to mind.

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    1. I read this stuff a few years ago but it didn't stick in my mind, the way it does now, since I wrote about it. :-D

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  12. Nice one! I had read all this stuff years ago too and forgot till I just read your post. It will stick with me now though because your post was much more entertaining than the boring thing I read before. I do love me some lipstick and you now have me thinking about digging the reds back out mwahaha. You know...for research purposes only. ;)

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    1. Merci, Madame. Please be sure to report your findings forthwith. ;-)

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  13. Interesting info *as I apply my lipstick*. I really want to know about the Cleopatra thing.

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    1. Well, my dear, far be it from me to keep you in suspense; apparently, Homegirl used crushed ants in her lip color. ::gags::

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