Monday, April 18, 2016

Special Order

Hieronymus Bosch 013Mom: I'm going out, need me to get you anything?

Me, thinking out loud: A good-looking, single man...with a good job, a good sense of humor...someone I can trust.

Mom: That's a special order, and you have to wait, because that can only come from Heaven.

Me, after another moment's thought: Think I can place the order over the Internet?

Note to self: when placing order, remember to specify "straight."

PS: As it happens, it does not appear to be possible to legitimately order one's soulmate from Heaven via the Internet. I guess I'll go back to praying, then. Meanwhile, I did manage to successfully order things from Vera Bradley and Sephora which, though there's a significant dent in my wallet, somewhat mitigates my feelings of disappointment from failing in my initial endeavor.

#RetailTherapy


14 comments:

  1. Maybe one day you'll be able to legitimately order a soulmate over the internet. Things are changing all the time. I wish I could order a real time machine to help me get things done, but so far no luck. Any historical figures tickle your fancy? Because if I get that time machine, I might be able to fill a special order for you. It may mess with the timeline, of course, but eh. It could still be fun.

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    1. You're *brilliant*. Let me know when the machine's ready to tear through the fabric of space and time.

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  2. I've had so many orders arrive damaged, or just plain wrong, that I don't think I'd trust getting a soul mate via the internet, anyway. LOL.

    And oh, retail therapy. I'm far too familiar with that, haha. Hope you enjoy your new items from Vera Bradley and Sephora!

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    1. LOL, you make a good point! I wonder what the return policy is on a damaged soulmate?

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  3. Well, there *is* a way to do that of sorts. It's called Internet dating. It's a little buggy though.

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  4. You're adorable, Mina! Wish we lived closer to each other. We could do some retail therapy together, and chat over lunch. :)

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  5. Retail therapy is always the best!!! Although technically, my husband did order me from heaven over the internet. lol He tracked me down on Facebook, confessed loving me for 30 years and here we are 5 years later, happily married and madly in love.

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    1. And I'm super happy for you, JoJo. <3

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  6. See it looks like it is possible. Just read Jojo's comment. Congrats to her and her hubby. Would never happen to me. LOL i worry about being tracked down for the revenge factor. :)
    Ever hear that saying - when you stop looking that's when it happens! Pretend you don't care!

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    1. I worry about that too, actually. :-)

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  7. Isn't Amazon supposed to have everything? How do they expect to achieve world domination if they don't? ;)

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    1. When you're right, you're right, Christine! :-D

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