Monday, June 1, 2015

My Overprotective Kid

You may remember me mentioning how, when he was younger, my son Balthazar disparaged men who showed romantic interest in me. (And by "disparaged," I mean that he denounced them as being serial killers whom I should avoid like...well, like one should avoid a person aiming to end one's life.) Well, given that he's achieved the ripe old age of 20 (holy shit!) and has been away at a very liberal, girl-pow-ah kind of college for the past three years, I figured he'd outgrown this absurd over protectiveness/smart-assed desire to kill my buzz.

I figured wrong.

A few weeks ago, I texted Balthy the following:

So, like, I was waiting for the Shuttle to GCT & this guy comes up to me & hands me a piece of paper saying, "Excuse me, I just wanted to say you're drop dead gorgeous, I love your hair and eyes. Here's my number, if you ever want to call me." Think I should call him?

After two days of radio silence, I nudged him. Thus replied Balthazar:

No

Me: Why not?

Four hours went by. I nudged again. Balthy wrote back:

Ask one of your friends

Me: The two I asked told me to call him. Why do you think I shouldn't?

Balthy: I don't care, do what you want. I just don't want to hear about it or find out that you're beheaded in an alleyway.

So there you have it. I mean, I'd no intention of calling the guy (he never asked me for my name, which I found really weird) and, admittedly, you never know whether a stranger means you harm. But that'd be true at a nightclub or a bar or a party, right? I mean, all the old-fashioned/more traditional ways of meeting people couldn't ensure they'd be decent, non-psycho-killers. Surely there'd be a "safe" way to get to know someone from the above scenario?

Maybe there's a more promising opportunity coming around the bend for me, one even The Kid won't be able to balk at. Obviously, I don't require his permission. But I wonder if he'll ever be OK with me having a love life of my own...

Probably not.


15 comments:

  1. I don't want to tell you that he won't ever outgrow his overprotectiveness... but he won't outgow his overprotectiveness (lol!!). I think it's something built into their genes for sons to be very concerned... very, very concerned about the whole "mom" dating thing.

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    1. LOL, Angela. I think you're right about the genetic factor. :-)

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  2. I agree with the man-boy on this. Seems a little creepy. Too creepy.

    But as for the overprotectiveness thing? I bet it isn't limited to your love life. Take my Jane, for instance. She still balks at my arriving at Penn Station and taking the subway to her apartment in Brooklyn by myself. It's only two trains. She comes to meet me. She called a car to take me to the station when I left because she couldn't accompany me. (Truthfully, though, I didn't feel up to the subway during rush hour and asked her to call the car. But she's very protective of her mommy in many ways.) I have no love life, so that's not a problem for her.

    He'll remain that way. He may lighten up on the "nobody's good enough for my mom thing," but I doubt it.

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    1. Yeah, it was definitely a creepy scenario. You're lucky Jane's concerned about your general well-being; apart from this dating thing, the kid doesn't really seem to give me much thought.

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  3. Well it's always a shot in the arm to be complimented, and it is probably smart of you to not call the guy, unless of course you agreed to meet in a public place. Good on Balthy for looking after you.

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    1. Agreed; it's nice to be desired...even if the guy's an organ harvester and the things he really wants to get his hands on were my kidneys. ;-)

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  4. Maybe it's less that he's overprotective and more that he thinks Mom having a love life is just Too Weird or Too Uncool, so he pretends like it's always going to be terrible.

    That guy sounded like he had a lot more class than some of the pickup attempts I've heard of, but I'd have been a bit wary that he didn't introduce himself like a normal person or ask your name.

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    1. YES! I think it's the idea of his mom as a sexual creature that wigs him out most. Plus, he'd just rather I be miserably alone. :-)

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  5. Heh, yeah, it's unlikely he'll ever stop being overprotective at this point, I think...

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  6. That is too sweet.
    Annoying.
    But, sweet.
    At least you know he still cares!
    Heather

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  7. That's so cute. I do wonder what he would do if you ever introduced him to gentleman friend.

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    1. If my luck holds, I'm not likely to find out any time soon. If ever. :-/

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  8. Definitely don't get yourself beheaded. Not the ideal way to go. I feel like you need to write some comedy in book or screenplay form - something about an overprotective (or just sensible) son and his mom. :) Seriously.

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C'mon, post a comment. All the cool kids do.

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