Anyway, with the dawn of this bullshit non-event known as Cyber Monday came another, greater evil—Cyber Monday Promotional E-mails. As I spent the past couple of days deleting e-mail after fecking e-mail that aimed to hook whatever interest of mine Black Friday hadn't already offered up on the altar of commerce, a thought occurred. (Be afraid.) WHAT IF in every promotional e-mail subject the words "Cyber Monday" and "Black Friday" were replaced by "CYBER SEX?" Well, that'd be loads more fun, wouldn't it??? I posit that, were this the case, one would smile, rather than snarl, at seeing one's Inbox full of stuff like:
Cyber Sex Savings!
Cyber Sex Starts NOW!
We just couldn't wait! Cyber Sex styles are here!
Cyber Sex Gift Card Blowout!
Last Chance: Cyber Sex Sale Ends TONIGHT!
Only hours left for Cyber Sex!
Free Shipping, No Minimum on Cyber Sex!
Cyber Sex: $10 Deals!
Cyber Sex! Extra 30% Off!
Midnight: Be There and We'll Release the Cyber Sex!
I mean, it'd crack me up, and that's all I really care about, fundamentally.
Wishing you the happiest of Cyber Sex Seasons!