Monday, December 1, 2014

Cybersex Monday!

With the proliferation, and subsequent easy access, of Teh Interwebz came cybersex. Remember that? The least intimate of intimacies? Or was it really the most? Whatevs. Cybersexing, the father of sexting (as it were), caught the American imagination in its claws and ravaged it. Sort of.

Anyway, with the dawn of this bullshit non-event known as Cyber Monday came another, greater evil—Cyber Monday Promotional E-mails. As I spent the past couple of days deleting e-mail after fecking e-mail that aimed to hook whatever interest of mine Black Friday hadn't already offered up on the altar of commerce, a thought occurred. (Be afraid.) WHAT IF in every promotional e-mail subject the words "Cyber Monday" and "Black Friday" were replaced by "CYBER SEX?" Well, that'd be loads more fun, wouldn't it??? I posit that, were this the case, one would smile, rather than snarl, at seeing one's Inbox full of stuff like:
Cyber Sex Savings!

Cyber Sex Starts NOW!

We just couldn't wait! Cyber Sex styles are here!

Cyber Sex Gift Card Blowout!

Last Chance: Cyber Sex Sale Ends TONIGHT!

Only hours left for Cyber Sex!

Free Shipping, No Minimum on Cyber Sex!

Cyber Sex: $10 Deals!

Cyber Sex! Extra 30% Off!

Midnight: Be There and We'll Release the Cyber Sex!


I mean, it'd crack me up, and that's all I really care about, fundamentally.

Wishing you the happiest of Cyber Sex Seasons!

3 comments:

  1. LOL, I have a feeling emails like that would end up straight in the spam folder... XD

    ReplyDelete
  2. Geez I get spam like that all the time as it is. I keep blocking it but it ends up back in the junk folder.

    ReplyDelete
  3. LMAO. xD I'll never look at email ads the same.

    It's kind of like adding the words 'in bed' to the end of your fortune cookie message. :P

    ReplyDelete

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