Monday, May 5, 2014

Streaming Consciousness: Just Checking In

...hey, y'all. Just checking in to say howdy. I know loads of you were busy with some blogfest shenanigans of late, perhaps you're feeling a bit burned out from both writing AND reading blogs. Yeah, it's OK. The ennui will either pass or it won't. Either way, there's still beer...

...Happy by Pharrell Williams just came on my fave Internet radio station, WLIR, which is a great pity, as I suffer from depression, so not only am I not clapping my hands along to it, but am actively, and somewhat violently, waving my middle fingers at my laptop. Not as I type, of course. I mean, I'm talented, and whatnot, but there are limits to even my genius...

...a song that does actually lighten my heart and make me want to die a little less is:


...I left off blogging for a while because I just felt wrecked. Now I can say I'm a wee bit more rested but still uninterested in all the online stuff I used to get such a kick out of. And I feel truly sorry about that, as I'm really missing the hell out of my dear blog buddies. I just can't muster the energy for anything more than reblogging pics on tumblr. Haven't been writing, either. Been singing a bit more, to myself at least...

...speaking of singing, I've not had a cigarette since last August, 2013, and my voice feels stronger than it has in probably decades. I still wouldn't say it's performance-ready (and I'm fucked if I know how I'd go about getting a group of like-minded musicians together to finally get the band going that I've wanted to do for YEARS). But I feel my voice slowly bouncing back, so that's something...

Though how depressed can a Kid with
orange colored hair actually be?
...my Kid's been going through a rough patch. Actually, we two have had a rough year, as a family, but things've been better of late. He's been going through some feelings of depression too—it runs in the family. On my dad's side, especially, and the thing that's wigged me out regarding Balthazar is that there've been two suicides on that side of the family tree, and him being hours away and miserable has made me pretty fucking uneasy. I've encouraged him to go talk to counselors at his college's health office if he feels things are getting that bad. I hope he doesn't get so low that he can't help himself up again, when I'm too far away to help...

...though I wasn't too far away the last Sunday in April. I went to visit him, because I was worried and I missed him a lot. After some initial friction, we chilled out a lot and I had a really good time with him. By the end of the night, he was just sharing stuff with me about his life like he viewed me as a friend and not an opponent, which was a real joy...

...recently got into British TV spy-series Spooks (known in the USA as "MI-5"), all because of that sexy motherfucker Richard Armitage (who was utterly adorable in Vicar of Dibley). He turned up in Spooks many seasons in, and that's when I started watching it on Hulu (Plus, sorry), but before I finished watching the most recent episodes, I decided to trek back through time and watch from the beginning, when it was led by Matthew Macfadyen. Anyway, it helps distract me from my woes, a very little bit, but some episodes make me reach for the aforementioned beers to take the edge off ('cause I'm sensitive like that)...

...something I got back into, after over a decade's abstinence, is reading tarot cards. Having begun reading them at 16, by the time I gave them up in 2003 I'd amassed quite the card collection. Why I quit reading them's tied in with a promise I'd made to a Lutheran priest (which is pretty funny, since I'm Catholic) that if I ever felt God wanted me to stop reading them, I would. So I did, and I did. Then this spring I felt the itch and picked up what must surely be one of the most surreally creepy decks out there, the Deviant Moon Tarot by artist Patrick Valenza. Dunno that I'd recommend this deck for beginners (my first deck was the then-properly-sized Hanson-Roberts deck), but I heart Valenza's artwork. The image to the right shows a three-card spread I threw regarding the man for whom I've been pining for, like, forever (it seems). I've also seen three psychic-type-folks over the past four months, which I'd tell you about here but this post's dragged on for too long, methinks, so I reckon I'll save that story for later...

Anyway, so...that's me. How's you?

12 comments:

  1. I'm so sorry you're going through such a rough time, and Balthazar too! Wish I could get up there this week, but I just can't do two trips up that way in the same number of weeks. Gah!

    I sort of like the Deviant Moon Tarot deck. Hmm. Should I go feel one of my decks?

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    1. Gah!!! Miss you too, lady. Which decks do ye have???

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    2. The classic Ryder and a couple others that I can't recall off the top of my head. And I don't know where they are, though there aren't many places they could be.

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    3. The closest I came to the classic Ryder was Hanson-Roberts, I think...though maybe I did own the Marseilles deck, at some point. Unfortunately, back in 2003, when I quit reading tarot, I threw out ALL my decks and books on tarot. Man, what an idiot. *Tsk*

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  2. I've missed you! Sorry to hear you and Balthy have been so bummed out. I've been feeling a lot of depression lately too and so have a lot of my friends. I have wanted to read my tarot cards but I don't even know how. I have 2 decks (one being the well known Ryder), and I also have Spirit Cards too but I don't know how to read them or apply them to my day/week/life.

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    1. I've missed you too, JoJo!!!!! Gah, it's been such a shitty time for so many! :-( Did you do A to Z? How'd it go?

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  3. I'm so sorry to hear that times are tough. I'm positive things will get better soon!

    Hugs!

    Valerie

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    1. Thanks, Valerie! I know you've been going through some hellish transitions, hope you and your BAMF little girl are well!

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  4. Hey Mina! I love peoples streaming thoughts. Like a roller coaster ride. Can I be in your band? Oh go on... you gotta have a quirky Brit in it to give it that edginess. I can play the Triangle really well and look disinterested in everything.
    I love kids orange hair.

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    1. Brits do lend a certain cachet in a band, 'tis true. :-)

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  5. Wow! That deck's awesome! I love Tarot cards and collect them myself, so thanks for the heads up! On not so happy notes, I'm so sorry that you are going through a rough patch. I hope you'll feel up to your usual upbeat-ness soon. Best wishes!

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    Replies
    1. Thanks so much, Gina. So glad you stopped by! :-)

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