|By Durdana shoshe (Own work) [CC-BY-SA-3.0|
via Wikimedia Commons
But that's not all it is.
In my late 30s, I began to draw parallels between romantic and paternal love. Not in an Oedipus/Electra kinda way, 'cause that's gross. The love my parents (who are not perfect people) show me and my sis, and even more, the love I feel for my son, is straightforward and manifests in obvious ways:
- Love looks out for you, as regards basic needs and comforts (food, rest, shelter, chocolate*).
- Love needs to see you well and happy.
- Love wants you to feel better ASAFP when you're not well, whether it's from physical, mental, or emotional trauma.
- Love shares with you, without conditions or expectations.
- Love laughs with you.
- Love does for you.
- Love accepts the feelings of anger, disappointment, and sadness you engender, but will always want to hold you close again (eventually; but the wait shouldn't be too long).
- Love waits for you to get your head out of your ass and apologize for whatever heinous fuckery you've perpetrated.
- Love understands that you may never apologize and forgives you anyway.
- Love may hurt you, but it'll want to fix that hurt, too, even when it doesn't understand WTF your problem is (see #2).
- Love wants to touch you (to the degrees appropriate to your relationship).
- Love wants you to want its touch (see parenthetical statement in #11).
- Love recognizes and respects that you are your own person.
Now, in my early 40s, I feel that's what I should expect, when it comes to romantic love: obvious demonstrations of love that don't demand anything extraordinary of me, and a well of that same feeling within me for the other person, one that never runs dry.
And lots of exhausting, mind-annihilating, earth-shaking, God-revealing sex. Of course.
Maybe romantic love won't happen for me.
But I believe it happens.
Wishing you all Love, now and forever.
*chocolate is totally a basic need.