Monday, March 25, 2013

Balthy & the Babes

Back in January, I bemoaned the break-up of my son, Balthazar, with his girlfriend, whom he met when he first went up to college last August. Well, since then, they've reunited, which could not fail to please me. Right now, he's spending some of his spring break with her and some of her family, out of state, which I don't begrudge (in fact, I bought him the Amtrak tix). We got to have a nice night together Friday and I escorted him to Penn Station (read: lugged his suitcase while he managed his honking huge duffel bag) the following morning.

On my way back into the 'burbs, I thought back to the beginning of his dating life. He connected with his first girlie in his junior year of high school. Through the wonders of the Interwebs, I learned some things about the girl the average mother would probably not appreciate but, since Balthy liked her, I was prepared to as well, until she gave me reason not to. Happily, she never did, though Balthazar wound up freaking me out in a pretty major way.

The surprise.
Over the summer of that year, I spent a weekend with an old high school chum in Rhode Island. Balthy stayed with my parents, one town over, but did spend some afternoons at our place. On my way back home, he texted that he had a surprise for me, which immediately put me on my guard. The surprise: a Chocolate Torte cake he made for me all by himself. (Clearly.) Not a bad first effort, really. And, I must admit, pretty danged tasty.

It turned out the surprise was meant as atonement for the two holes he'd punched in the kitchen wall of our apartment. He'd wronged his gal somehow and, in an excess of emotion, he lost his shit. On the bright side, he took his upset out on an inanimate object. We had a long talk about self-control and I strongly encouraged him to exorcise any future feelings of self-loathing in healthier, more productive ways. We haven't had any other such incidents since then, and I hope we never will, as it was a rather frightening development though, perhaps, not uncommon for young men (I don't have any brothers, so I honestly don't know).

About four months later, they broke up. A few months after that, Balthy & I watched Jeopardy and to the answer, "A favorite pass-time of girls," he proposed, "What is "Breaking Men's Hearts?'" Knowing that he'd broken up with her, I wondered at the bitterness, but I suppose that's par for the course of teen angst.

The last bit of romance theory I picked up from him came two years later, around senior prom time, when Balthy explained to me that more guys than girls went with folks they didn't know, so long as the gals were "hot." I rolled my eyes at that, then asked if a hot chick was worth the trouble if she were a tad bit insane (as was the case with a neighbor of ours and his girlfriend). He knew exactly whom I referenced and clarified with the pithy phrase, "Mom, girls are crazy and guys are dumb. It's just the way of the world." At which the words of actor Jeremy Northam, as Mr. Knightley in the movie Emma, sprang to my lips, "Men of sense, whatever you may choose to say, do not want silly wives." "No, not silly," he agreed, "but crazy's ok, if they're hot." Aghast, I said, "But why???" "Like I said, Mom: guys are dumb."

Gentlemen of the blogosphere: are you in agreement?

18 comments:

  1. LMAO! I'm in full agreement, then again I am a woman.Although as they mature, guys do lose their taste for crazy and fortunately, start to rely more on a nice personality. I have known a few who don't change. Like certain thrice married high school acquaintance who keeps getting younger, crazier wives.

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  2. 99% of the girls I know aren't crazy, but some of the men I know definitely tip the scales toward the shallow side. I don't think they're dumb - just visual creatures.

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    1. True. As am I, though I wouldn't say I'm always attracted to fellas considered to be conventionally handsome. Different strokes, eh? (Heh heh...strokes.) ;-)

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  3. Your son is wise beyond his years. lol

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  4. Haha!! He really is wise!

    I grew up with 2 little brothers. Believe me, everyone punches a wall at some point in their life. At least you got cake out of it!!

    Hugs!

    Valerie Nunez and the Flying Platypi

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    1. Aw! Thanks, Valerie; that helps me feel better, though at the time, I was pretty wigged out about it! :-)

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  5. yup this is true - sounds like Bathy is a babe magnet - or sorts :)

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    1. His appeal knows no bounds, David. Much to his bemusement. :-D

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  6. LOL; this was entertaining. Sorry for your own angst, but . .

    with a 14 year old boy at home just starting to think about dating, and the girls he consistently attracted to, I have to agree with your son's final statement.

    ......dhole

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    1. Thanks, Donna. It's a good thing The Kid was/is funny; I might've sent him back to the factory, otherwise. ;-)

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  7. Sigh with relief because my youngest son is in the clutches of a Femme-fatale my heart breaks for him. Funny thing is he knows it. Love, such a mess.

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    1. Parenting: it ain't for the faint of heart, is it? Meanwhile, from a bit of advice my dad once gave me, nothing takes a person off a pedestal faster than imagining them at their "worst" like, say, pooping. You might want to ask him if she's a "regular" kinda gal. :-D

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  8. "Mom, girls are crazy and guys are dumb. It's just the way of the world." This sounds like a best seller. Write on, Goth mom! Love this post. :)

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  9. Fortunately my son is too young, yet, to be spellbound by the girls who will lead him away and or astray (LOL), but my teenage daughters are beginning to worry me with their far too serious bouts of puppy love. That is what it is- only puppy love, right??? Let's hope.

    Hi, I am a new follower. I am making the rounds and introducing myself to all of the A to Z blogging challenge helpers. I have been on a self imposed blogging hiatus ( a few of my favorite agents have requested my manuscript so I've been working non stop), but I will be back next Monday, ready for A-to Z and I will visit your blog then.

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    1. Nice to meet you, Melissa of the superbly awesome last name (seriously; I DIG it!!!). Also seriously, if you didn't see this in one of my above comments, you should try my dad's advice to me when I was a teen drooling over Duran Duran - picture the guys on the bowl. Takes the buzz out of the crushing, tout de suite. :-D

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