Thursday, January 17, 2013

The Kid's Flying Solo Again...

...and I have to admit to being a wee bit heartbroken. OK, more than a wee bit.

As early as December, I'd started wondering if things were well between the spawn of my loins, Balthazar, and his girlie, whom I adore.

Around my dad's birthday, I noted Balthy had changed his Facebook profile pic. It'd been a picture of him with his gal and was now him and some musician he'd met at a concert. Hmmm...

I texted to ask if things were cool with the two of them. His answer: Yep.

The gal and I aren't FB pals, but I could see her "About" page and she still listed him as her fella. So, OK. (I know, I know; Facebook creeping should be beneath me. Well, it ain't.)

Balthazar had mentioned going to spend New Year's Eve with her and her family (they're a few states away). But as the day drew closer, he said they'd decided against him going there, after all.

Say what?

I checked Facebook and things were still OK.

Before the Kid returned to college, I bought the lovely girl some gifts for Christmas. I was so happy to shop for her, it was so much fun picking out stuff I thought would go well with her was like shopping for the daughter I don't expect to ever have, you know? When he left, I waited on pins and needles to hear from him whether she liked the things or not. When he finally texted that she loved them, I was soooooo totally stoked! And, that he was interested in the whole thing seemed a good sign to me, at the time.

Then we spoke on the phone last Friday, about sorting out some stuff. As we were wrapping up, I asked how the gal was. He gave a monosyllabic answer (which is typical of him) but something about his tone set off my alarm bells. I asked if they were still together. He said they weren't. The long and short of it is that they'd just broken up a few hours before, and he wouldn't tell me why. I checked Facebook. The gal had changed her status to single.


She and I had watched loads of Buffy together! I heard the girl sing when I visited them up at school one Saturday in October! (And she's fabulous!) That same Saturday, I met a bunch of her family and we had some lunch together. Really enjoyed her mom, stepdad, and sisters! After Hurricane Sandy, her mom texted me to see how I was doing! I heart, heart, HEART THEM ALL!!!!!


So, new rule: I don't even want to know about any other chicks, much less meet them, till he's engaged one's hand in marriage. And even then, I'm keeping my emotional distance. I've suffered enough heartache, I really don't need to take on any of his.

::sighs:: This breaking up shit's too hard on my poor, shattered, aging heart. For realz, yo.


  1. I am nice to my children's love interests but I don't get invested for this very reason.

  2. Oh you poor thing.:) I won't even bother learning the names of my nephews' girlfriends until they're 30.

  3. Whichever girl Balthazar eventually weds, I think you'll be the best MIL EVER!!!

  4. Sorry about the breakup. Breakups can be traumatic for all involved. Luckily for me, it'll still be many years before my boys start bringing girls home.

  5. Don't ever fall in love with the girl -- it's certain to be the end of it. Every time I loved the girl -- they broke up. If I didn't like her - he did - and I never saw him.

    If you love her pretend otherwise...maybe that will work?

    Both my sons are in love with the wrong girls -- It's a curse!

    I have no solution....

  6. So sorry to hear this. I don't even want to think of the day, when my kids are old enough to go through all this. It takes strong nerves, huh?

  7. Oh merde. Sorry to hear about the break up. Maybe it was for the best. But I totally get wanting to keep an emotional distance from future significant others. Yet nothing is ever set in stone. Even if one day he gets married... there are no guarantees. All you can do is be there for him. He's probably hurting too.

    And I totally second what Lexa said. (:

  8. Aww. *hugs* If I could, I'd take you out for coffee (or whatever your choice is) so we could chit chat the day away.

  9. Awwww that's too bad. But there's nothing to say they won't get together in the future. All my ex boyfriends came crawling back as I predicted they would. When you are that young you think it's going to last forever. My stepson was at our house a year ago, proclaiming his love for his girlfriend, showing us the part of the tattoo he got was dedicated to her for her undying devotion. Wanted to introduce her to us and to her family. They'd been together as friends and then in a relationship all through high school. He said he was gonna marry her (they were 19). By May they had broken up and he said she was 'bat shit crazy'. lol

  10. @The Ranting Monkey - Very wise, sir.

    @Melissa - Also wise! :-)

    @Lexa - Aw, thanks! <3

    @L.G. Keltner - Enjoy the peace and quiet till then!

    @Yolanda - LOL, you're probably right. When Balthy asked me, months ago, what I thought about her, I told him I liked her a lot, and even then I realized my mistake! :-)

    @T. Dresser - Strong nerves and strong drink! ;-)

    @Elise - It's wondering if they're both suffering that's bothering me the most. I can't bear to see folks in pain, of any sort, or in tears, for any reason. Once, I gave a woman (then a stranger to me) some good news and she gasped and started crying. Pretty soon, I was crying too! (Laaaaaaame.) :-)

    @Jackie - Thanks, doll. That would be pretty sweet!

    @Al - Thank you, friend.

    @JoJo - LOL! Sorry, I probably shouldn't laugh, but that last bit cracked me up. :-D

  11. Awww. I never thought about breakups through the perspective of parents before. *hugs*


C'mon, post a comment. All the cool kids do.

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