Wednesday, November 7, 2012

The Resurrection Blogfest Starts NOW!!!

Welcome one, welcome all, to my...
RESURRECTION BLOGFEST!
Not sure what this is all about? Well, click here to learn more! (And if you're reading this before 11:59pm EST on NOV. 7, you can still sign up for it!) (There are, like, PRIZES, and whatnot!)

To sum up, I'm hosting this one-day blogfest to celebrate my one year blogiversary! The blogfest is an opportunity for participants to resurrect blog posts from their first year of blogging that they love, didn't feel got enough attention, or have some special meaning to/for them. Click on the linky-list below to check out all participants' entries.

My resurrected post follows the linky-list and is, in my opinion, snort-beverage-of-choice-out-your-nose funny. So scroll down to read it! :-)

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The blog post I'm resurrecting was initially published on January 12, 2012 and is titled, "Intuition...?" and features my most beloved PITA, my son.

***
Intuition...?

...or just more smartassery?

I'm sure those of you with teens can relate - sometimes, one's child develops such skill with the latter that it's difficult to discern whether:

A) your child's being serious, and if so
B) the gravitas should be trusted.

In particular, I reference my son, Balthazar, and his ready dismissal of the (very few) men to have interested me romantically since his dad and I split up, lo so many years ago. Oh, he knew there'd been a dude after his dad, but he was about 3 at the time, so who knows what a child that age can really grasp of such matters. But there'd been a long drought since that fella and it was in The Kid's earlier teens that other contenders nearly entered the ring, so to speak.

I commute into Manhattan for work and, a while back, there'd been this guy on the train who eyeballed me with some frequency. He didn't make any moves to reach out to me, just stared and let me catch him staring a few times, you know how it goes. Well, there was something about him, an intensity to his gaze, that appealed, and I was not averse to an overture, should it have come. Then one night, as The Kid and I walked past our town's train trestle, we both happened to look up at the steps leading down from it, casually noting the descending commuters, and there he was! Our eyes met and held for a few heated seconds, then Balthy and I kept walking. I slowed my pace at some point so the guy could pass us and was gratified to see him looking back at us periodically. The Kid noticed him and commented on the fact that he sorta resembled one of our neighbors. I agreed, mentioned seeing him on the train once in a while, and that was the end of that.

UNTIL I boarded a homeward-bound train one night and saw him seated at a window seat, with the middle and aisle seats next to him free. I had my chance - it was now or never! (Or so some twisted little voice in my head assured me.) I took the aisle seat. He looked up, saw me, and an electric moment of mutual awareness passed.

This is the point in the story where things should've taken a delightful turn for the woof! They kinda didn't. He tried, several times, to engage me in conversation. But my natural timidity with men (go on, laugh, disbelieve me, but it's true - I get stupidly tongue-tied and blushy when an object of my interest approaches) didn't allow for the burgeoning of rapport (or anything else, for that matter). Too, the timbre of his voice put me off, for some reason, and I just couldn't relax into the moment. I was interested but antsy, and I couldn't figure why, but I couldn't shake my uneasiness and did nothing to encourage him. Still, he gamely tried to chat me up, valiant man. We disembarked at our stop, walked together for a bit, then parted ways.

When I got home, I ached to share the experience with someone, though I didn't think I was so pathetic as to need to gush to my son. In fact, I was.
Me: You remember that guy from the other night?

The Kid: Yeah?

Me: The guy we saw at the train station?

The Kid: Yeah?

Me: The guy you said looks like our neighbor?

The Kid: Yeah?

Me: We chatted on the train tonight. I think he likes me.

The Kid: (Smirks.)

Me: What?

The Kid: (Smirks and shakes his head.)

Me: What??? (I glare at his continued smirkage.) Well, what do you think of him?

The Kid: He looks like a murderer.

Me: WHAT?!

The Kid: He looks like a psychopath, Mom. So what's for dinner?

And that really was the end of that. Oh, I saw the guy a few more times. Once, he passed by me and tapped me on the arm, scaring the ever-loving crap outta me, but my son's words echoed in my mind and kept me from welcoming further advances. Maybe a few months later, I stopped seeing him around altogether.

Now, I've no way of knowing if The Kid was sharing real concern with me or just being a snot, but what he said seemed to support my unidentifiable discomfort during my brief interaction with the guy, so I chose to believe Balthy had some sixth sense and might just be looking out for me, after all. However, about a year later, I had cause to question his purported altruism.

On Facebook, a male friend of a friend sent me a friend request. The corresponding message read, "I like your hair and eyes." I told Balthazar about this and asked him if he thought I should befriend this dude.
The Kid: No, Mom. He obviously wants to rape you and feed you to a wood chipper.

He had no reason, at all, to suggest such a thing (except maybe he'd caught the tail end of Fargo recently), still he glibly harshed my buzz.

Me (sharply): You don't ever want me to date again, do you?

The Kid: No, I want you to stay lonely. Forever.

Me: Why?

The Kid: It works for me.

Of course.

Mind you, I accepted the friend request and later wound up un-friending (De-Facing!) the dude, on account of his weird rants (and truly alarming misspellings and appalling grammar). So, possibly, The Kid's Spidey-senses did actually pick up some vibes to which this chick's ears are not attuned.

Possibly.

58 comments:

  1. This is an entertaining post, and who knows? Maybe he does sense things you may not. Or maybe he's just being a pain. One day I'll have teenage sons. Maybe I'll have more insight on the minds of teenage boys by then.

    I love this blogfest!

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    Replies
    1. Me too! :)

      I hate to tell you this but I still don't have a good understanding of my kid's mind. ;)

      Delete
  2. It always amazes me how women don't seem to pick up on subtle creepy vibes. Great post and excellent idea for a blogfest.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well, I'd picked up on something, wasn't sure what to make of it, though. :)

      Delete
  3. I kinda like your kid. But tell him and I'll introduce you to my flesh-eating ant farm.

    Love you xxx

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Careful, he might put you in that "woodchipper" category. ;)

      Delete
  4. *facepalm* Kids these days.... (says someone the same age as Balthazar)

    Kind of ironic that he's saying the same things to you that my dad said to me about every boy I might have been interested in. :P Again, not sure if he was actually concerned or just being an ass, haha.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dads (and I guess sons) seem to overreact just a little bit, don't they??? :)

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  5. I get tongue-tyed around the object of my lust as well. Which wouldn't be a bad thing if we were kissing, but talking is another matter. ;) B sounds alot like my nephew. He rolls his eyes when I mention a guy and says Auntie Mo, you gotta get game if you're gonna get anywhere."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, I wonder what kinda "game" he thinks you should get! :-D

      Delete
  6. Congrats on your one year blogging anniversary! Fun post you picked :) From my experiance, no boys like the thought og their mothers dating any guy if it might lead to anything having to do with sex, espeially teens because that is all they think about...lol!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Ding, ding, ding, I think you've nailed it! And thanks!

      Delete
  7. Hi! I'm kickin' off your blogfest with a visit to the Central Node -- the home of our beloved bitchin' blogfest instigator, Mistress Mina.

    Great resurrected post! Well-written, amusing, and very touching. And I'm not too surprised at his dismissal of your potential suitor-dudes. The worldview of teens often stretches no farther than the end of their nose -- "what about ME?! That's what really matters!" ;^)

    I hope that as Bathy grew (and now that he's off to college, especially), that his sentence of eternal spinsterhood has been lifted. You're a wise, witty, and beautiful gothMom, and you deserve to have a loving male in your life who wants more from you than clean laundry and cash for pizza with his girlfriend. ;^)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thank ye, Mr. Fries! I remember when the first two weeks after I took him up to college passed and I only cried every *other* day that I thought, "Well, now I can do whatever I want! Yeah, I'm gonna go out and do stuff and have a good time and maybe even get mahself a feller! Yeah, THAT'LL fix his wagon!" :-D

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  8. Happy Blogging 1 year anniversary! I think there's probably a mix of emotions that Balthazar is going through concerning you and possible suitors. He's concerned about you but at the same time he probably has a hard time thinking of you as something other than a "Mom." Just remember you deserve l'amour and meeting that special someone. We only have one shot on this space rock, it would suck to have to do it alone. Oh, and I agree with the creepy fb guy. I. Love. Your. Hair. (:

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. LOL, Elise, you slay me! (Figuratively speaking.) (I hope!) ;)

      Funny thing is, I also need to learn to see myself as more than just "mom."

      Delete
  9. LOL!!! You poor thing! I do hope you meet someone that Balthazar likes and will give you his seal of approval!! And yeah, there are some weirdos on FB too, but don't give up hope.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks, JoJo. I wonder what sort of fella would pass muster with my kid...actually, I shudder to think! ;)

      Delete
  10. I was getting some creepy vibes coming from the subway man while just reading this post. It honestly creeps me out when I get stared at by the opposite gender. That's grounds for automatic punching in the face and yelling at him for being a jerk. When guys stare at me like that, I usually sneer and make a disgusted face at him and hurry away quickly XDD. I'm not an object to stare at; I'm just a human like everyone else.

    But yeah...maybe Balthy and I were on similar wavelengths. Telling someone, "I like your hair and eyes" is really creepy. I would've blocked that person. That shouts out, "Hey, I wanna rape you," in my opinion, especially when it's over the Internet. It's a bit different when it's face to face though.

    I mean, come on. If he's honestly interested in you, he should at least attempt a decent conversation about current events, right? Commenting on your body or just staring at you for a long time is just a recipe for disaster. It just screams, "I only want your body even if you don't want me to have it."

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Agreed. I'm willing to give the benefit of the doubt and just assume he isn't used to trying to engage a woman's interest and is thus a bit awkward at it. But bad grammar and poor punctuation are unforgivable. ;)

      Delete
  11. I have two kids, and I've been married for over 25 years. I'm assuming my children would resist a new guy if there were one. Balthazar is reacting the way I would expect.

    Jolie du Pre
    Precious Monsters

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. His dad and i split when he was just a toddler, so he's pretty used to it just being the two of us...I think it would've wigged me out if my parents divorced when i was younger and either of them dated, too. Anyway, when he was younger i worried about having dudes enter our little world. Now, however, i needn't fear damaging his fragile little mind. :)

      Delete
  12. Hmmm...I don't know how it is in NY (I am from Cali), but anyone trying to hit on me on the subway or even on the internet would be suspect in my book. Unless they were really really cute. Then maybe I might be interested.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Life sounds like an adventure. I think I would have thrown caution to the wind and at least tried a romp or two with him to see if there was any spark.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. When I was (much) younger, I probably would have. :)

      Delete
  14. Isn't it horrible how egotistical teens are? I think about myself at that age and live in perpetual fear of when my kids will reach that age... *shudders*

    Anyhow, don't let him kill your buzz. I can't imagine how hard it is to be the rock of your kids and still try to find space for your own life, and kids will always want to keep you for themselves. I would've, if my mom would've allowed me to. So talk to him, listen to what he says, but also don't give up on yourself.

    This blogfest has me all excited. I'll go check out what the others resurrected! =) Best of luck!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yep, you got it just right, I think. Well said, too, that bit about being the rock for our kids.

      I'm excited too! Only managed to get to three blogs tonight but hope to get through a bunch tomorrow.

      Delete
  15. :( for unfortunate train flirtation. "De-facing" needs to be introduced into the official set of Facebook lingo.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I bet it's been logged in Urban Dictionary for ages. :)

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  16. Your son is ace. Fact. Loving the blogfest! There is some great stuff out there.

    Big love,

    W.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks! I can't wait till I have a proper amount of time to go through all them resuscitated posts!

      Delete
  17. That's terrible! And I really hope it was your son's imagination ... although I'd probably wonder those same things. Heh. Great look back!

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  18. I hope your son was just being a kid and not serious. Wow.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Sadly, I think it was a bit of both. :)

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  19. Really enjoying the fest. Gotta love a kid who can pull off deadpan!

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  20. He does sound a little creepy but the worse part was the bad spelling and grammar. LOL! What a turn-off!
    Happy Blogoversary! This is a fun hop

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes, the bad grammar, etc., really killed it for me. Thanks, Heather!

      Delete
  21. Awesome linky and happy blogoversary!

    This post makes me not want to watch Fargo. Am I missing out?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks!

      Fargo's great, if grim. But the senseless fatalities in it can be hard to sit through. It's not like a torture flick, and the violence is fairly quick, but still. I wouldn't say it's for everybody.

      Delete
  22. I love your writing. So funny. I promise you I will buy every book you write.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. AW! Thanks so much, Tonja! (And be sure to pimp them to all of your friends!) ;)

      Delete
  23. Great post! Thank you for sharing and hosting.

    ReplyDelete
  24. haha...LOVED this post. I actually read it out loud to my whole family. Your son sounds like he'd get along very well with mine. How old is he? Teenage boys are awesome. pain in the ass--but awesome.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Aw, thanks! Glad y'all enjoyed it! Balthy's 17, though he's just started college this year. And I agree: he's a PITA but also awesome. :-)

      Delete
    2. Wow. I'm impressed. COLLEGE?? Already? Chance is turning seventeen is April. He wants to be a writer. Apparently watching me bash my head up against the wall for a couple years hasn't discouraged him at all. haha. It's cool though, he's very talented and it's an awesome thing to have in common with him. We're working on a collaboration right now and it's been SO neat to have his input and see the book go in an entirely different direction than the ones I've written on my own. :)

      How is your son enjoying college? Is he away or still living at home/commuting?

      Delete
    3. Yeah, my little smart-ass skipped a year in elementary skewl, else he'd be in his last year of high school. Balthy wants to make moooovies, which I heart and admire and will support for as long and as far as I am able. I envy you being able to collaborate with your son, that's awesome! I'm trying to imagine the look on my kid's face if I so much as suggested that! :-)

      Balthy's at a college in the boonies in upstate NY and seems to really dig it up in "Children of the Corn" land. :-)

      Delete
  25. I came over from Julie and Al's, and I'm glad I did! This was such a wonderful story! It's so nice how you and your son have such a good relationship. I've known many single mothers who seldom put their children first. Hopefully, you'll meet someone that you'll both be crazy about. In the meantime, be proud of your caring son with the great sense of humor like his mom! Julie

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  26. Haha, what a great post. Your son sounds like an awesome kid. Thanks again for hosting this fun fest, Mina, and congratulations on one year down! :)

    ReplyDelete
  27. "Feed you to a wood chipper." Best.....line.....ever. Not for the violent undertones but for the shear spontaneity of it. Oh, hi. My name is iB. I caught wind of you via Al Penwasser and felt it necessary to come see what the fuss was all about. And now I see.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, my kid's great with the improv, I tells ya. Thanks for visiting!

      Delete
  28. Your son is so funny! I love how protective he is. Your son and my oldest son should hang out. They sound like they can conspire together.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Dani, would the world be safe if we got them together??? ;-)

      Delete

C'mon, post a comment. All the cool kids do.

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