Monday, July 30, 2012

Subversive Coffee...

A recent-ish conversation with Balthazar, The Kid:
Me: I wish you knew how to make coffee.

The Kid (with a sneer): I can make coffee.

Me: Oh, yeah? How?

TK: You pour the water in the thing, and then you measure out the coffee, and then you turn on the machine.

Me: How do you measure out the coffee and water?

TK: You know, it's a ratio. It's what's on the coffee bag.

Me: I never go by what's on the bag.

TK: That's 'cause you're a Commie.
Well, of course. I'm amazed I didn't see that about myself before this enlightening exchange.

Pic taken by me.
Just the other day, Balthazar enlightened me further by bringing home a bottle of some curious refreshment, completely new to me. I only really noticed it after he'd consumed it all. I hadn't ever seen this particular brand of beverage and examined the label with interest, wondering what this Bai stuff was. Apparently, it's made of coffee fruit.

I snorted when I read that. Coffee fruit? C'mon, that's some kinda gimmick, yeah?

No. In fact, it's, like, totes for realz.

I was astonished, and chagrined, to learn that what I'd believed to be properly labeled a coffee bean is actually a coffee seed, and that it's nestled inside the actual fruit of a coffee plant. The seed's home resembles a rather largish cherry and it's of this berry that this Bai drink was made.

Well, slap my ass and call me Sally.

That needful nectar, that exhilarating elixir, that divine drink, made of seeds and not beans. How do ye friggin' do?

Did y'all know about that???

19 comments:

  1. Wow colour me surprised as well! I thought coffee beans grew in the state they are picked. I had no idea they were inside something else! Well butter my butt and call me biscuit! BTW, the Keurig coffee maker is all the rage up here in New England. I'm not impressed with it but my friends swear by it. It takes the guess work out of making coffee b/c you just load a K-cup into the machine, pour in the water and press the button.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That's what I thought too, JoJo. And LOL, "Butter my butt and call me biscuit!" Hah! You made a similar crack on some other blog, now I can't remember which or what it was, exactly...got any more of those? I want to start peppering my daily speech with them. :-D

      Delete
  2. I knew this! I even wrote about it during A-Z. The beans need to be fermented or otherwise processed and roasted. Sometimes, cat-like creatures eat the fruit, and the beans come out the other end all fermented. Apparently this is a delicacy.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROTFL - and EUW!!! :-D Now I've gotta backtrack through your A to Z posts and see what other kinds of nasty you've got lurking there. ;-) PS: I still think about that parboiled squid thing you posted about, from time to time. ::shudders:: (I shudder, but I totally dig your style.) :-)

      Delete
  3. Interesting, but now I have a question...what are we eating when we buy chocolate covered coffee beans??? Maybe I don't want to know

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I nearly replied, "What does it matter, it's covered in CHOCOLATE!" But then Chocolate Covered Ants came to mind and, of course, that makes all the difference, doesn't it??? ;-)

      Delete
  4. Replies
    1. LOL, that's what Miss Twist alluded to in her comment, above. And again, I say EUW!!!!! :-D

      Delete
  5. I think I once saw a video of people in Southern America picking fresh coffee "beans" and saw the fruit... but that image is usually blocked out in favor of imagining it as the dehydrated "bean" that we all know more.

    I'll have to try the juice if I can find it.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I tried the Costa Rica Clementine flavor yesterday and quite enjoyed it. There are 2 servings per unit, each has 5 calories. It's sweetened with erythritol (and something else, I think), and is supposed to have a low glycemic index. I'm super sensitive to sugars, so if I keep drinking it and see the scale go up, I'll have to back off it. But it's tasty, no doubt.

      Delete
  6. I had no idea! Might have to find and try some of this Bai stuff.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for chiming in - I'm relieved I'm not the only one who didn't know! :-)

      Delete
  7. Coffee is quite frankly brilliant. I'm part Italian and take it quite seriously. One day when I have four thousand pounds to spare I will own and use a real Italian kettle that will live in my enormous kitchen where I will cook excellent food (I make pancakes with blueberries that are off the frikkin' hook even if I say so myself) and drink espresso all day. I will also never sleep and write bestsellers before lunch. After lunch I will swim with dolphins and instigate world peace.

    I have seen a blog called Coffee Porn which is where the real extremists live. They have coffee OCD.

    I have just re read the above and it seems a bit random. That's the way I'm rolling today it seems.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. ROTFL, Wayne - I loved this!!! Plus, now you've made me want pancakes, curse you! ;-) ::goes in search of Coffee Porn blog::

      Delete
  8. No Sally I had no idea! Holy crap and all these years I thought that coffee grew as beans on some sort of plant. Shows what we know doesn't it?

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I know! Makes me wonder what other "knowledge" I've taken for granted as being factual...

      Delete
  9. The only reason I know anything about this at ALL is the Starbucks near me just released something new--I think called Refreshers, and they also have some kind of coffee additive, including the caffeine.
    This fruit drink you are talking about sounds muuuch better.
    The drink at Starbucks is, ummmm, served on ice. And...hmmmmm...:P
    And hi Mina! Thanks for this post--loved it.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Oh and Balthazar...what a NAME! Love.

    ReplyDelete
  11. @Penelope, thanks! I've heard of these Refreshers but haven't tried 'em. (Probably full of sugar and whatnot, eh?)

    ReplyDelete

C'mon, post a comment. All the cool kids do.

Related Posts Plugin for WordPress, Blogger...