Friday, February 17, 2012

Aspirations…

Faithful readers of this blog (and unfaithful, all sneaking around, checking out those other blogs and whatnot – how could you???), y'all know I seek to publish my writing. You also know I’ve been unable to snag a literary agent, to date. And even if my publishing angst wasn’t on your radar, at least you must be familiar with the painful sting of rejection. (Well, I’m assuming everyone knows what rejection feels like, but I reckon I could be wrong. Can anybody out there honestly boast of having never been turned down, for anything, ever?)

Anyway, though I force myself to press on, in spite of my disappointments, I've experienced some dark moments indeed. However, I’ve learned there’s yet a deeper wave of torturous wanting than these. Going through the college application process with Balthazar has kicked up a simmering anxiety within me that’s, like, totally burning me out, Dudes.

I believe every (sane, warm-hearted) parent must know where I’m coming from: your kid wants a school so badly, and going to the right one for her or him is so vitally important that you super-want it too, so desperately that you can’t sleep, eat, or think straight. (For the record, I’ve yet to grow so distraught over a thing that I can’t manage to get food down my gullet. But still, this shizz is pretty danged stressful, y’all.) Once you know if your kid's made it or not, you can sort of unclench but, as Tom Petty famously sang, the waiting really is the hardest part.

Balthazar applied to nine schools (which seems an inordinate amount to folks of my generation and earlier, until you consider that there are significantly more people in the word today, some of whom are applying to about twelve schools each, thus ratcheting the competitive level up to unprecedented heights). He’s heard back from three and is, right now, 2 for 1 (2 acceptances, 1 rejection). We’re pleased, of course, with the acceptances, though one is to a school we’re not likely able to afford. The rejection was more of a blow to me than him, as it shared the dual le awesome! factor of having a respectable program for his desired major (film) and a price tag my wallet didn’t go all fetal over. (*Sobs*)

We’ve yet to hear from his number one school. We both know it’s a long shot, so if he got in, it would really be a dream come true. (Though it’ll take a miracle for me to be able to pay for it.) But, as the Portuguese say, “Quem não arrisca, não petisca.” (Nothing ventured, nothing gained.) I’m really proud of The Kid’s courage in this kind of risk-taking, and I dearly hope it reaps him only the best of all possible fruits.

What about all you Moms and Pops out there? What dreams have your kids aspired to, for which “the waiting” drove you nuts? How did things turn out? WHAT DID YOU DO TO STAY SANE????? (Not that "staying sane" is really an option for me anymore, but you catch my drift.)

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